Geniwick: Lord of Thieves

Gnomes have no religion of their own to speak of. Although there was a time when, at the behest of one of the great Aspects, a minor demigod came to live among them. Thus the gnomes came to tell “trickster tales” regarding the strange being who haunted the periphery of their world.

Geniwick is an unlikely demigod.  A gnome-like creature with the features of a small fox, he is dexterous and quick-witted. While not by nature a liar, Geniwick's accounts of his past and adventures should never be taken at face value. While he tells the truth, he seldom tells the whole truth.  What Geniwick omits from a story is typically any information which might prove his demi-godhood.

 

 

There is no cult devoted to Geniwick, even among the thieves of whom he is supposedly lord. Geniwick "discourages" those who would venerate him, but through what methods, he himself will not speak.  It is known, however, that invoking the Lord of Thieves directly is a very good way to find yourself stolen from, usually under inexplicable circumstances.

Geniwick has, at one point or another, trained rogues in the arts of stealth, pickpocketing, lock-picking, and various dirty tricks, often claiming that a mysterious "she" requested he do so.  The risk of invoking the Lord of Thieves is such that no rogue trained by Geniwick would ever admit it.

Geniwick always tries to avoid conflict, but when forced to fight, will use every method in his vast arsenal, short of his most godlike powers, which he reserves for desperate acts of self-preservation.  As such, what powers he possesses, beyond the skills of a grand-master rogue, are almost unknown.

Geniwick has nearly as many names as there are races.  Among the Trolls, he is known as "Nur", and his name is rarely spoken.  The elves have all but forgotten him, but among them, stories of "Thal'genit" are often used to entertain small children.  "Geniwick" is his name among the gnomes and the one he professes the most fondness for.  This is not on account of any fondness for gnomes.  In Geniwick's own words, the time he spent among the gnomes was at "her" behest.  Tales of Geniwick abound among the gnomes, often taking forms similar to those told by the elves, but more numerous, and fanciful.

Invoking Geniwick: Dangerous and Tricky but Occasionally Useful

Only one description of how to invoke the Lord of Thieves exists, and there are doubts about its reliability. Regardless, here it is:

Invoking the Lord of Thieves is technically very simple, but in practice, next to impossible. Additionally, the results are seldom to the benefit of anyone but the Lord of Thieves.

Simply take an item of incredible value, and place it in an extremely secure safe.  Then declare that "NO ONE, not even the LORD of THIEVES", could steal it.  If the item really is secure, then Geniwick *may* accept the challenge and appear, if only long enough to steal the item.  If the item is not secure, you have a small chance that Geniwick will appear, only to mock you. in which case he may just leave you the item of value, and steal everything else, including the safe.

 

If the challenge presented by your safe, or the item contained within is insufficient, which is typically the case, seemingly nothing may happen at all.  Geniwick is not known to be spiteful or to take revenge, but it's wise not to belittle his skill at thievery.  Make sure your safe is really secure. Really!  I mean it. Don't scrimp.  I'm... er... Geniwick is... um... getting tired of being invoked for no good reason. My... er... His time is valuable.

Regarding the occasional utility of invoking the Lord of Thieves, it's been reported that the Lord of Thieves will "steal" a hostage or prisoner if that person is of high enough value and the prison suitably impenetrable. How to manage to get the owner of the prison to make the invocation, is an exercise best left to those who face that situation.

"Stealer of Chickens"

Among the gnomes, Geniwick is known mainly as "Stealer of Chickens", and most of the tales of his exploits involve a "Farmer McGoyless", who is bent on building an improved chicken coop to keep Geniwick out. This, of course, spurs Geniwick to even greater efforts, with Farmer McGoyless’ chicken coops becoming increasingly complex and unworkable even as they become more secure against the Lord of Thieves.  In at least one story, Farmer McGoyless’ precautions became such an impediment to his own access to the chickens, that it required Geniwick to break in just to ensure the chickens were fed and watered. The most famous of these tales is “Geniwick and the Way Too Clever Squirrel”  of which, many variants exist, and in which Geniwick isn’t the thief and must clear his name.

These days, Geniwick is naught but a legend, and few modern gnomes actually believe he ever existed. Geniwick likely prefers this state of affairs.